Friday, January 01, 2010


New Year’s Resolutions We Wish Kalb had Made and Kept

1) I will not be lazy.

2) I will not be incompetent.

3) I will not be quarrelsome.

4) I will not whine.

5) I will not be a lapdog.

6) I will not drive to Kentucky in an official car for cigarettes and lottery tickets.

7) I will not blame my terrible reputation on a few “malcontents.”

8) I will not leave my successor a half million dollar deficit.

9) I will not create fraudulent public records to cover my ass.

10) I will not gain international notoriety as an ignorant, foulmouthed redneck.