"The only healthy part of a donut is the hole."
"To underscore the nutritionally immoral tinge of the donut run,
there was a donut eating contest scheduled after the race."
"The large majority of those who participated in the Salvation Army Donut Run
in Portsmouth this year did not run, they walked."
One of the depressing things about living in Portsmouth, Ohio, is the large number of people who are, unfortunately, both for themselves and for the community they live in, a financial and social burden. Portsmouth is located in a tri-state area (southern Ohio, Kentucky, and West Virginia) that ranks statistically as among the fattest regions in the country. A nutritionally poor diet and sedentary life style has a lot to do with the preponderance of overweight people in Portsmouth. Encouraging people to be more physically active is one of the ways to counter the epidemic of obesity and the diabetes that often accompanies it, which are turning alarming numbers of Americans into big basket cases. The baskets in this case are the medical and social services provided by public and private agencies that help the obese to cope.
As part of the program to encourage people to be more active, to run or at least walk more, several mini-marathons are held in Portsmouth each year. One of those mini-marathons, was held recently, on Saturday, June 14. Sponsored by the Salvation Army, and a little over three miles in length, the Donut Run coincides with National Donut Day, which commemorates the Salvation Army workers who provided soldiers donuts during the First World War. They also serve who only serve donuts! But the only healthy part of a donut is the hole. National Donut Day was a way for the Salvation Army to call attention to the good work that that religious organization did not only for soldiers during wartime but for the destitute and homeless during peacetime. National Donut Day was good public relations for the Salvation Army. It has also become not only good public relations but good business for donut makers, such as Duncan Donuts, Krispy Kreme, etc. But because unhealthy food such as donuts incontrovertibly contribute to obesity, donut makers are on the defensive. In associating donuts with mini-marathons and exercise, as well as with a religious group such as the Salvation Army, donut runs run circles around nutritionists. To underscore the nutritionally immoral tinge of the donut run, there was a donut eating contest scheduled after the run.
The large majority of those who participated in the Salvation Army Donut Run in Portsmouth this year did not run, they walked. Most looked like they were not in shape to run one mile, never mind three. While nobody who walked looked obese, a good number looked overweight, which is to say they looked like most Americans. They looked like they were for exercise more in principle than practice, which is to say the Salvation Army Donut Run may have served to salve some consciences. The young man who won the race looked in great shape, but he and about a dozen others, including a few young women, may have, without realizing it, served as shills for this somewhat carny con game for the Salvation Army and the donut industry. Those who conducted the Donut Run for the Salvation Army appeared to be at least bordering on obese and therefore a poor advertisement for either running or religion, but a better one for the Salivating Army.
"Those who conducted the Donut Run for the Salvation Army appeared to be
at least bordering on obese and therefore a poor advertisement for
either running or religion, but a better one for the Salivating Army."
Perhaps the presence of the overweight Mike Jones in the Donut Run was the most damning indictment of it. He wasn’t running for his health; he was running for political office. In a shameless exercise in self-promotion, he was wearing a Mike Jones for Whatever T shirt. Jones had already showed himself suspect in his shady financial purchase of Crispie Creme Donut Shop (click here), but he also showed himself utterly incompetent in the management of that business, which is why he is in politics. If Jones had half the number of customers as he had roaches in Crispie Creme, he would have been rolling in dough.
"Perhaps the presence of the overweight Mike Jones,
in the Donut Run was the most damning indictment of it."