Sh*t Heel Jim Kalb

Depicted above in a Portsmouth sewer is the then redneck  mayor Kalb who in a 2AM  email to me in 2009 wrote that, “I think you're a worthless  piece of s**t and I wouldn't p**s on you if you were on fire.” 

As Eskimos have many words for snow,

River rats have even more for sh*t.

In sewers, rats prefer to go with the flow

Like the politician Kalb, the nitwit, 

Who leads excrementally, from behind,

Which puts him, linguistically, in a bind.
Whenever  he’s at a loss  for words,
The dope has to resort to p*ss and t*rds.
To piss or not to piss, what in tarnation!
Verbal diarrhea or constipation?
Among the rats  he’s a really big deal
But excrementally only a shit heel.

                               Robert Forrey, 2012

Top Ten Posts of 2012

The canned party animal Randy Yohe (first on left) kicking up his heels as a can-can dancer.
 The Can-Can post had more hits than any other post in 2012. Happy New Year, Randy!

Top Ten Posts of 2012

(Listed according to the number of hits posts received. 

Clicking on the title will take you to that post.)


1. Canning the Can-Can Man

2. La Cucaracha

3. Dr. Albrecht’s Snake Oil Fifth-Third Elixer

4. Think Tank or Stink Tank 

5. Bankruptcity

6. DeSimone’s Haunted House from Hell

7. The Illogic of CoreLogic  

8. Horner’s Son

9. The SOGP: “It’s Alive! It’s Alive!

10. Survey of Men About Town 

Snuffy and the Incredible Shrinking Daily Times

Snuffy is happy to see the incredibly shrinking Portsmouth Daily Times
in 2013 will be only four pages two days a week and will feature
him in  front page cartoons along with the customary cover-up of corruption.

WHO KILLS KIDS?

On-line billboard with names of kids killed in Newtown, Conn.

Who Kills Kids?

“Death toll in Connecticut shooting up to 27”

                                

“The husband of a Notre Dame schoolteacher walked into his wife’s fifth grade classroom

 where he shot  her, later killing himself after a stand-off with police.”  Portsmouth, Ohio 2008

                                                                                   News reports

We think we’ve guns sort of under control

But we most definitely don’t.

We think we’ll remember the Newtown toll,

But pretty  soon we probably won’t.

Who recalls that day in 1927, when

A  school board member killed  forty-five children,

Blasted  everyone of them to heaven

In a grade school bloodbath in Michigan?

What no nun could possibly teach her—

Or prophetic priest at a high Mass—

The husband of a parochial teacher

Shot her in front of her fifth grade class.

But don’t blame psychos or the handcuffed fuzz:

Guns don’t kill kids—the NRA does.

                                         Robert Forrey

                                      
 Comment

I sent my post “What Kills Kids?” to a dozen or so friends, and this is the response from one of them.  Since Ray’s thinking or non-thinking  on the gun issue is probably shared by a number of other friends, as well as millions of Americans, I am adding his response here.

Thick as Thieves

 Thick as Thieves

The appointment by the Portsmouth City Council of fellow council member John Haas to replace Michael Jones as Portsmouth City Solicitor is a reminder not only that city officials continue thick as thieves as they play the political game of musical chairs, but also that they steadfastly maintain the incomparable tradition of incompetence  for which they are notorious throughout Scioto County.  They perform as public officials as they did as private citizens, which is to say ineptly, especially in the handling of money, their own as well as the public’s. Three members of city government—former-mayor-now-councilman Jim Kalb; former-councilman-now-appointed-mayor David Malone; and former councilman-now-city solicitor Haas—have gone bankrupt. Two other members of city government—councilman Kevin Johnson and former city-solicitor-now-assistant-Domestic Relations-judge Michael Jones, might have gone bankrupt if Michael Gamp, of American Savings Bank, consigliere Clay Johnson’s heir apparent, had not bailed them out financially.

One puzzling aspect of the search for someone to replace Haas as city solicitor was that one of  the candidates who applied for the position, the lawyer Steven C. Rodeheffer, is  apparently a success professionally, having a thriving law practice with a top-notch female partner.  Haas told the PDT that now that he’s solicitor “he plans to scale his private law practice back so he can focus on this new responsibilities.” How do you scale back on virtually nothing? It’s widely rumored  Haas was a flop as an attorney, which is why he was so desperate for the solicitor’s high paying job. Personal failures have the inside track on public jobs.

Rodeheffer, by contrast, has not falsified his residence for purposes of serving on the city council; Rodeheffer has never been a drug dealing pimp; Rodeheffer, in fact, appears to have no criminal connections; he has never declared bankruptcy; he has not been taken into court for nonpayment of child support; he has not had his wife take out a restraining order against him; he has not had his license suspended for speeding and DUI, all of which misdemeanors and felonies, city officials have at one time or other been guilty of. How could a man without a record of incompetence, bankruptcy, recklessness, cronyism, and criminality hope to be appointed to  public office in Portsmouth? What was Rodeheffer thinking? Who put the crazy idea into his head? When Haas filed for bankruptcy, he had the shyster Mike Mearan as his lawyer. Which lawyer did Rodeheffer consult before he applied for the office of solicitor? Doesn’t he know a crooked lawyer who might have set him straight about the qualifications needed to qualify for appointment to public office in Portsmouth? The fact that Rodeheffer, with his clean record and good credentials,  did apply for city solicitor, in and of itself,  shows such poor judgment that Mr. Rodeheffer should be barred from ever trying to be appointed to public office in Portsmouth again. No felonies and certainly no misdemeanors he might be convicted of in the future could possibly make up for the crimes he has not committed in the past. Even if he were to someday fail as miserably and hilariously in court as Mike Jones did in his attempt to convict Harald Daub of shoplifting a shopping bag from Aldi’s, Rodeheffer  will never live down the shame of having the city council choose a deadbeat dad and bankrupt dodo instead of him.

In explaining why he was chosen, Haas told the PDT, “I’ve been dealing with these guys for several years during my time on council. They know me . . .” Yeah, these guys  know Haas and Haas knows these guys. What more is there to say? They’re not just thick, they’re thick as thieves.

“When Haas filed for bankruptcy, he had the shyster Mike Mearan as his lawyer.”